


Osaka, We Have A Problem

by kai of the wild (nakamoon)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Awkward Romance, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Pining, Snakes, goth boyfriend yuta rights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-01-09
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:22:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28457505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nakamoon/pseuds/kai%20of%20the%20wild
Summary: Taeyong has stolen Yuta’s best friend (Osaka the Snake). Maybe he would mind more if Taeyong wasn’t the sexiest man alive.
Relationships: Lee Taeyong/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 29
Kudos: 239
Collections: NCTV Secret Santa 2020





	Osaka, We Have A Problem

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mkhhhx](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mkhhhx/gifts).



> dear recipient, thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to write about snakes and i hope this fic brings you a little bit of joy and laughter. please stay healthy, warm and enjoy your holidays!!
> 
> thank you so much to the mods for being so patient and nice! grateful to you for organizing this event!

For all intents and purposes, working at the pet shop is pretty great.

It's not like Yuta enjoys getting up every morning to work a part-time job before classes, but he supposes that as far as jobs go, hanging out with animals rather than humans is way better. Sure, sometimes he has to deal with the odd customer or two, but it's not like weekday mornings are bustling with people who need to buy a puppy or parrot food.

Animals might bark, meow and caw-caw but they for sure cannot talk back and give Yuta a headache. He likes them a lot.

"Here you go, pups," he leans back after filling the puppies' bowls with fresh food and clean water. They're the store's stars - who could possibly not fall in love with cute, baby dogs? They’re great store promotion: the boss makes sure to put them right up front by the crystal windows.

Other well-loved animals in the store consist of kittens, bunnies, and fish. Fish are oddly popular. Fish are lovely - they don't start barking or meowing as soon as they're hungry. They die sometimes, and Yuta has to scoop them out and it's kind of sad but life goes on for the hundred other fish in the pet shop whom Yuta has to feed.

The tarantulas are kind of badass, he doesn't get to feed them much as the night-shifter is in charge of them most of the time, but he likes looking at them when there's nothing else to do in the store.

Above all, however, Yuta does have a favorite.

"How are you today?" he says, walking up to a clear terrarium in the corner of their store, where the small reptile section is located, "Looking lovely today."

Osaka, the snow corn snake without a left eye is Yuta's most precious friend in the pet store. He's pinkish, with a single red, beady eye and a calm demeanor. He can also be playful and friendly, especially for a snake, and Yuta loves his cute reptile friend very much. Osaka is not that old, maybe around three or four years old, not much for a snake, but he's one of the animals that have been the longest with Yuta, ever since he started working in the store last year.

Osaka looks blankly at Yuta as he walks around the terrarium, amiable even so early in the morning. Perhaps it was the bout of mice he had for breakfast. Of course, Osaka doesn't answer but Yuta continues nonetheless, already in a better mood at the sight of his friend. "This weekend was awful. Mom came to visit and all she could nag about was how messy my apartment was, you should've seen her." He rests his chin atop his head, "At least she brought snacks over, so that was alright."

The snake flickers his tongue out in response and Yuta is satisfied with the reply, proceeding to wiping the counter and shelves. Maybe the reason why Yuta loves Osaka so much is because there are not many people in his life who just shut the fuck up and listen to him. Sounds plausible.

The thing about Osaka is, however, that while he may be a very friendly snake with cute pink scales and is an agreeable companion - well, nobody comes in looking for a blind snake, especially one that is visibly missing an eye.

"Well that's okay," Yuta soothes the snake who is completely unaware of his peculiar existence. "As long as I'm here I'll keep you company, Jups."

That's what Yuta promises Osaka every now and then, whenever Yuta is reminded how awful humanity and their love for the pleasingly aesthetic is.

It is awfully ironic and unfortunate - or fortunate, whichever the case may be - that it is that morning, just a mere half-hour after he said those words to Osaka the snake, that Lee Taeyong first comes in barging into the pet store.

There are many things that can be said about Lee Taeyong. Yuta is embarrassed to say half of them, even in an inner monologue he is the only one privy to.

At that moment, however, Yuta can only stare as an overdressed boy with platinum hair walks into the store, going straight for the counter where Yuta is now tending, browsing through his phone and waiting for his stagnant shift to end.

It's the hair that catches Yuta's attention, or maybe it's the way he confidently struts towards him, his black boots against the linoleum floor loud and demanding. "May I help you?" he says. Usually, he would add a _sir_ in there, but this guy seems younger than Yuta, so he forgoes it.

The other doesn't seem to mind, "Ten told me you're open on mornings too."

"Ten?" he eloquently says, still eyeing the man in front of him. He's too pretty, _what in the ever-loving hell._ Ten is the night-shift guy and, Yuta adamantly supposes, one of his closest friends as well.

"Yeah," he nods, then pauses. "I usually come here right before closing time but I won't be able to make it tonight so I decided to drop by early today."

"Oh, sure."

"I came to buy a snake."

Now those words effectively catch Yuta's attention. It is not every day that someone comes in to buy an actual animal during his shifts, it's usually dog food _this_ , catnip _that_ \- at the most, they come in here to buy a small hamster or the odd turtle - not snakes. Snakes and anything bigger than a chinchilla are usually bought on weekends or after his shift, more along the lines of Ten's jurisdiction.

"Um, do you wanna see them?" he asks, still unsure whether he's excited about selling a sizable animal for the first time in months. "They're over here."

Taeyong pauses for a few seconds, looking at Yuta with unnervingly big eyes before he shrugs with a nod. "Sure, lead the way."

"To be honest, our selection of snakes isn't the biggest. Mostly because we don't have space for that many reptiles in here," Yuta says, nonchalant, as he guides Taeyong towards the corner of the store.

"But we still got many options, we got a few corn snakes, some ball pythons, and right now, two milk snakes. All of these are pretty good for beginners."

"Everything else we might have in our catalog, but those are usually for more advanced keepers and it takes a few weeks for the orders to arrive."

"Hm," Taeyong nods, looking at the array of snakes in the various terrariums placed along the walls.

Yuta then babbles on and on about the types of corn snakes they have, there are a few baby ones, red and black, very popular amongst their customers, there's Mochi and there's Bam and there's Haruki. Of course, these are names that only exist in Yuta's head, and so, he doesn't say them out loud to Taeyong. To be honest, he isn't even sure if Taeyong is listening to him or not but Yuta did always like the sound of his own voice so there's little that can stop him in this regard. Taeyong only nods along and eyes every little snake in the area.

Maybe it is because he's too distracted by this one-sided conversation that Yuta fails to notice Taeyong walking over to the dustiest terrarium in the store (metaphorically the dustiest, of course, Yuta just cleaned it prior to Taeyong arriving).

Before Yuta can even understand the ramifications of Taeyong sending heart eyes to the pink snake, the other speaks up. "I'm taking this one." It hasn’t even been a full minute since Taeyong laid eyes on the snake.

In a rare occurrence, Yuta doesn't have anything to say. It lasts for a few seconds.

"He's blind." Perhaps that's not the best thing to say, Taeyong frowns. Yuta frowns at himself.

What is he doing? This is the first time someone's shown interest in the one-eyed snake.

"I can tell," Taeyong turns to the snake, "And he's very cute, I want him."

"I—okay," he nods. Of course Yuta wants Osaka to have a home and be adopted! That's every snake's dream, Osaka needs this and it is Yuta's job to give him a home.

He's still - sad. For himself. Because up until half an hour ago - just before this Taeyong man came into the store, into their lives - it was just Yuta and Osaka against the world. Now it's just Yuta? Is that good? It must be.

"Do you have a terrarium set for him? Food?" he asks as he sets everything up for the snake to be taken home. He certainly doesn't want Osaka to have a less than adequate beginner keeper. Most often than not, snakes under someone who doesn't know what they're doing end up dying within the year. He absolutely cannot let that happen to Osaka.

Taeyong stares at Yuta as if he's grown another head, "Of course I do."

"His name is Osaka," Yuta says. He sobers up after realizing what he's blurted out. "I mean you can name him whatever you want, but... that's what we call him here."

Taeyong smiles at him, and it's an oddly sweet and reassuring smile. It calms Yuta's nerves just a tad. "I'll keep that in mind. Mine is Taeyong.”

“What?”

“My name…” out of a sudden Taeyong looks away, as if regretting the tidbit of information he has just shared, “...is Taeyong.”

“Oh.” Yuta blinks. “I’m Yuta.”

Taeyong and Yuta look at each other blankly and that’s around the time Yuta realizes he’s being stared at by an attractive male with pretty hair and even prettier eyes. Most importantly, an attractive male with an interest in blind reptiles. Yuta is suddenly shy.

“Um,” he coughs out before going to the backroom to get a carry-out container for Osaka.

After all is set and done and Yuta watches as Taeyong walks out of the store, Osaka in his plastic container, he lets out a sigh, mind frazzled.

He didn't even get to say goodbye! His friend - just taken away from him without even a warning! Yuta is in shambles for the rest of the day.

𓆙

The more Yuta thinks about it, the more there is something that keeps bothering him about the whole Taeyong-Osaka ordeal.

Taeyong stole his best friend! Taeyong is also unbearably attractive. Those are two facts that can and do coexist.

In fact, it is not Taeyong’s unblemished, beautiful face that makes him so attractive, nor it is his undeniable good fashion - no, it _is_ the fact that he stole Yuta’s best friend. A blind, one-eyed snake that no one but Yuta wanted.

There is something tumultuous growing in Yuta’s heart. One is an affinity towards the white-haired boy, the other is unrelenting resentment.

Who in their right mind would ask for Osaka when baby Mochi is right there? A madman, Yuta thinks, which makes Taeyong kind of attractive. In theory.

He sighs, wiping the counter for the umpteenth time that morning (there's not much to do after he feeds the animals). It's been awfully boring since Osaka was bought. It's not like the snake could hold a conversation, but Yuta did like talking to him. What is he going to do now? Talk to the hamsters? That's embarrassing.

Maybe he can try training one of the parrots to talk back to him.

...

No!

"I'm losing it without you, Osaka," he laments - at least his tears are helping him clean the counter.

It's all that sexy Taeyong's fault. How dare he separate true soulmates from each other?

If he ever sees him - well, god protect Taeyong. He will make sure to give him a piece of his mind, maybe even a tearful punch in that pretty face of him and maybe even—

"Hi, Yuta."

"Huh?" he looks up at the familiar voice, a voice he first heard two days ago. Taeyong, in all his silver hair glory. Had he been too distracted by his melancholy that he failed to hear the customer barge in through the door?

"Were you crying?"

Yuta wipes furiously at his teary eyes with the sleeves of his sweater. "Allergies." He coughs. "How may I help you? Taeyong." This is the first he uses a customer's first name, he supposes this can be considered good, personal attention. His boss would approve.

"I came by to pick up an order of mice. For Osaka, actually."

"You kept the name?" Not that it's any of his business but he did give that name to the snake himself so Yuta is more than attached.

"Of course," Taeyong shrugs, "I'm sure he's used to his name by now."

"Snakes can't hear their own name, they identify vibrations." _Ha! What a rookie_ , Yuta decides not to roll his eyes. There's something fragile about the way Taeyong's eyes shine under the clinical lighting of the pet store. Yuta shall be tender with him.

"Oh, a snake expert, are you?" Taeyong asks and Yuta preens.

"Something like that." He just happens to research a lot in his spare time so he can take proper care of all animals at the store. It's nice to be recognized though.

"Good. It's nice to know there's someone I can consult."

"Sure, sure, I'm here for you," he cringes at the words, especially when Taeyong grins at him in silence. Yuta wants to melt into the floor but he just clears his throat and takes out a thick hardcover notebook. "You said you had an order come in today? Food mice?"

"Yup."

He rakes over the list that he and Ten use for orders and the only name written for snake food is _Lee TY_ _\- 3 mice bags_ , scribbled in Ten's messy handwriting.

"Lee?"

"That's me."

"Did you order the food through Ten?" Yuta does remember Taeyong said he usually comes in during Ten's shift, not Yuta's.

Taeyong nods, "Sort of. I have Ten's number, so I just shoot him a message when I need to order food and he writes it down for me."

So, Ten is acquainted with Taeyong? And he never thought to mention the hot regular customer that comes in during his shift? Well, well, well. Keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

"Oh, cool cool," he says, most definitely not offended. "I'll bring your bags out in a sec."

As soon as he leaves for the backroom, Yuta feels dizzy. How is this human - this Lee Taeyong - so beautiful, so enticing, so perfect. A reptile owner. How disgusted he feels with himself! Is Yuta really so weak at the face of a sexy man who buys frozen mice for his blind snake? Yes, he is.

He hugs the bag to his own chest in anguish as he leans against the door until he remembers that maybe normal people don't hug dead mice when they find out they have a crush.

Fuck. Is this a crush?

Does he have a crush on a customer? That feels illegal and something that might get him fired. Absolutely not. Yuta sobers up and fixes his bangs, taking a deep breath.

"Here you go," he smiles, opening the backroom door with a slam, three frozen bags of snake food in his hands.

Taeyong looks up from his phone and smiles politely at him. "Thank you, I'll be sure to tell Ten I picked the order up."

"Actually—" Yuta starts and even before he continues, he's already regretting his words. He is never to one shut up though so Yuta is not really surprised at all as he confidently continues, "I could give you my number too. Just in case you need it. To make orders and all that. I mean, if you want to."

Silence fills the store for the next seconds, Taeyong staring at him with wide eyes and Yuta thinks himself a stupid man.

Taeyong, bless him, takes pity on him and nods, crinkles in his eyes as he smiles at him. "Sure thing. Honestly, it might be good since my schedule has been hectic and I might not be able to come here after work sometimes, so your shift works perfectly for me."

"Yeah, absolutely. Don't hesitate to text me if you have any questions about Osaka too. I've been taking care of that little guy for the past year so I might know a thing or two."

"I take it he was here for a long time?"

"Yeah," Yuta frowns, "A one-eyed snake is a little harder to sell. He's the best though," he purses his lips as he takes Taeyong's offered phone and puts in his number. He names himself _Yuta (Snake Connoisseur)._ "He's a whole sweetheart, I promise you that."

"I can tell, he definitely is," Taeyong's lips curl up as he takes his phone back and Yuta can't help but smile back. Maybe, just maybe, Osaka will be in good hands, even if it's not with him.

𓆙

" _You_ are a traitor."

"I don't think I can disagree with that. What did I do this time?" Ten deadpans as he looks through their list of newly arrived stock, not looking up to glance at Yuta even once.

The nerve this man has! Yuta has half a mind to just leave him hanging, he does have cat food cans to put up in the shelves after all. "You never told me we have a hot regular?"

"Hot regular? Are you ogling customers now?" Ten gags, "You never mentioned you were that desperate before."

"Look who's talking!" Yuta is most definitely not desperate. The life of a bachelor is as good as it gets. _King of Masked Singer_ episodes and _One Piece_ reruns keep him plenty occupied, thank you.

It seems Ten's curiosity has peaked, however, as he finally looks up, eyeing Yuta. "Who are you talking about?"

Yuta sniffs, looking at a pink, swimming beta fish as if it were the most interesting animal in the world. The fish swims away. "Taeyong."

"Lee Taeyong?" Ten raises his eyebrows before snorting, looking back at his notebook, "He's not so much of a regular, he's more of a friend. Almost as annoying as you, actually."

"A friend?" Yuta gasps, "You mean you have a hot friend that looks like a model and has interest in reptiles and you never thought to tell me? Ten, that's being called a fake friend."

Ten sighs, leaving his notebook on the counter. He gives Yuta a pointed look before helping him stack the cat food. "If I told you of every homosexual friend I have I would never finish."

" _He's gay?_ "

"I—" Ten pauses, looking at Yuta as if he's dumb. This is not a rare occurrence for the two of them and the single hour they spend together every day during Yuta's last hour in his shift and Ten's first. "The only person gayer than Lee Taeyong is you."

Yuta supposes this makes sense. What sensible straight person would have such perfectly trimmed eyebrows. Maybe the rainbow charm attached to his phone might've been a giveaway too.

Huh. Osaka's new owner being of the LGBTQ kind feels right.

"Wait, shit," it is at that moment that Yuta realizes one thing.

"What did you do this time?"

Yuta looks down at his hands in horror, "I gave him my phone number. What if he thinks I'm gay and I was coming on to him?"

"You _are_ gay _,"_ Ten pats him on the back, then, "And probably coming on to him. Good job, I can't believe you made the first move for once in your lifetime. Which, by the way, I'm glad you did because Taeyong would never."

"Would never what?"

"Make the first move."

"Ugh, this is awful!" he wails, scaring the kittens on their far right. One of them hisses at Yuta before scurrying away. "He's supposed to my enemy. My rival."

"What the hell are you on about, Yuta," Ten groans. He admits it must be tiresome being Yuta's friend. Tiresome, albeit fun.

"He was the guy who bought Osaka. I've been sad ever since, nothing has ever been the same without him. All because of that snake-stealing fiend!"

"Oh, right. He was the one who bought Osaka," Ten ponders, "He'd been eyeing the little guy for a few weeks now."

Yuta pauses his dramatic sobbing before furrowing his eyebrows, "What do you mean?"

"Yeah," Ten nods, "Taeyong had been looking for a corn snake for a while now, and every time he visited the store he'd go and chill with Osaka. He finally bought him last week after getting a terrarium for him."

"You mean to tell me you _knew_ he was going to buy Osaka and you didn't tell me?" Ten is officially his worst friend ever and that's a hard thing to achieve when you're also friends with Kim Doyoung and Johnny Seo.

"So you'd be even more mopey and annoying? No, thank you, the birds already hate you as it is. You got bad vibes going on right now."

"It's Taeyong's doing."

The other sighs, finally finishing stacking up all the cans. It's fifteen minutes until Yuta's shift is over but Ten is just starting work. Yuta almost feels bad for him. "You know what? Just text him. Taeyong's chill. He's like a little duck. Inoffensive."

"Duck's have horrible, sharp teeth."

"And Taeyong bites so, there's that."

Yuta feels his soul escape out of his body. Ten more minutes. Ten more minutes and his shift is over.

𓆙

It’s not like Yuta thinks listening to Ten’s advice is a great idea. This is the man who once went to jail for trying to get into Troye Sivan’s backstage uninvited. This is also the man who changes boyfriends more often than he changes hairstyles. Which is a lot, by all means.

Still. That night, as Yuta eats sad microwave food for dinner, he keeps staring at the number Ten texted him that afternoon. Taeyong’s number - which he didn’t get from the man himself that day he gave Taeyong his own.

“What if he thinks I’m creepy,” he says out loud to himself in between bites. It’s not like he cares much what other people think, really, he’s never been that type. But Taeyong is so pretty and nice and he has eyes like a lizard’s. Huge and dark and shiny. Yuta pines greatly.

When he’s pondering whether to choke on his microwave noodle or not, as he often does, his phone _pings!_ Yuta freezes, too scared to look at the lockscreen.

“I manifested this,” he curses when in fact - because God has no pity for Nakamoto Yuta - the notification is from a so-called ' _ **Taeyong**_ 🥺💖😠🐍😳 _'._ "Maybe Ten is right, all this bad energy is affecting me." He makes a mental note to google Crystal Cleansing later that night.

He has half a mind to just not open the message and go take a shower or clean his room for the first time in weeks. Procrastination is a disease. However, strange thoughts of Taeyong needing help with Osaka start filling his frazzled mind. What if he doesn't know how to properly change the terrarium's temperature? What if Osaka has gotten an allergic reaction to his surroundings. Maybe Taeyong is the type to have essential oils laying around everywhere and now Osaka is dying and Taeyong needs his help.

He opens the message in a hurry, fearing for both snake and man.

**Taeyong 🥺💖😠🐍😳**

hey yuta:) this is taeyong! the guy who bought osaka! 

ten told me you might like a picture of him! he says you miss him [image attached] 

Attached is a picture of Osaka, his little tongue out, being carefully carried by Taeyong, who smiles at the camera in the cutest fashion Yuta has ever seen anyone do. It looks like he just took a shower, for his hair is wet and covering half of his forehead.

"Agh!" he drops his phone on the table as if it was burning to the touch. He brings his hands to his head, suffering a mental breakdown. "Why is he so hot? Is this punishment for something I did in my past life?"

Now what the hell is he supposed to reply with? _Ha-ha thanks, I just saved it to my camera roll. Anyway, wanna get married?_

Instead, his hands shake as he types out a cool _wow! he looks so healthy! you guys look great!_

Should he add a _feel free to send more pictures?_

He ponders for a minute and decides to send it, pressing enter. He's already embarrassing enough, what more harm can this do?

A minute later, another message comes in.

no problem~ [image attached] 

This time, only Osaka appears in the picture, vibing in his terrarium, a small heart emoji edited floating on top of his head. The terrarium is a big one, probably a bigger one than Osaka needs, and Yuta can recognize it's on the expensive side. His heart is impressed and Taeyong is marvelous.

he looks so happy 

Then, as an afterthought:  thank you 

Yuta means it.

He knows his apartment is not big enough for a terrarium, he doesn’t have the time to take care of a snake outside of work hours, adopting Osaka for himself had not really been an option. He supposes he’d grown comfortable with the idea of having him in the pet store forever. Realistically, someone was boun to buy Osaka, someone who didn’t care about how he looked, someone who would see how beautiful and friendly the animal really is. Someone gentle and kind like Taeyong.

Being hot is just a bonus, Yuta sighs dreamily.

Taeyong sends more messages and Yuta replies to all of them. Sleep that night comes easy.

𓆙

**did u know the smallest snake species in the world is the size of a worm?:)?**

**good morning btw!**

_a worm :o! (good morning!)_

**yeah! Look up brahminy blind snake, they're cute lol**

**the biggest one is the reticulated python... i'm sure one could eat u whole heh**

_i'm sure it could, i'm only 1.74m TT_

**that's so small HAHA**

_you're the same height as me!_

**never! i'm 1.76m!**

_what's the difference >:( _

a _nyway.. gotta go! good luck at work today... might send a picture of osaka when i get home!_

**yes! thank u!**

𓆙

**[image attached]**

**that's for osaka....because you said he missed me...**

_i'm sure he's going to like the picture... I'll show it to him rn_

**wait... he's blind**

_oh....i forgot about that. then send him an audio?_

**that's embarrassing!**

**audio ▶️**

_:)))))) he's gonna recognize ur voice and be so happy_ ~ 

𓆙

today's going to be really cold! Make sure to turn up the heater so osaka stays warm and cozy: ) 

of course! Thanks for reminding me! 

you stay warm as well yuta... are you going to work today? 

yes:( and i gotta be there earlier so i can shove out the snow!!: ((( 

LOL... maybe get a cup of coffee to cheer you up? 

if i had time i would... alas, i don't even have time for that 

it's ok, I'm sure we won't have customers at all today so it should be fine 

OTL just don't freeze to death today 

𓆙

Taeyong has set out to prove Yuta wrong. There _will_ be a customer that day. And that customer will casually stroll in with a pink beanie and leather jacket and two hot cups of coffee in hand.

“A treat for you,” Taeyong hands him the drink and it takes all of Yuta’s willpower to not embrace the other man and stain his leather jacket with tears of joy.

“You didn’t have to,” Yuta warms his hand with the drink before taking a sip and _ahh_ ing in bliss.

“It’s okay, I was free today,” Taeyong shrugs after taking a sip of his own. “I had time to come by.”

“You’re a real life angel,” Yuta is almost embarrassed at his words except Taeyong’s face flushes a deep red and it’s the best thing Yuta has seen that week.

“Anyway,” Taeyong clears his throat, “How’s your day been?”

“Boring! Painfully boring.”

“Is it that bad?”

“Yes. I’ve been teaching that parrot how to sing,” he points towards the single green parakeet in their store. “He’s annoying, but he makes a decent companion.”

“Shut the fuck up!” the parakeet wails and Yuta preens like a proud dad. He’s an awfully fast learner.

Taeyong looks wide-eyed at the bird before snorting out laughter. “What’s its name?”

“Johnny.”

“He does look like a Johnny.”

“Thank you, I think so too.”

Taeyong leaves his cup on the counter and removes his beanie. Somehow, his hair still looks immaculate; Yuta can only wish his hair looked like that on a good day. “I’ve been meaning to ask,” Taeyong says, “Why is Osaka’s name Osaka? Don’t get me wrong, I like it a lot, but I’ve been wondering about it.”

Yuta nods, a soft smile on his lips. “I was born and raised in the Osaka prefecture. It’s one of my favorite places in the world. It only seemed fitting to name my favorite animal in the store after it.”

“Do you miss it? Japan, I mean?”

“Yes. Korea has been my home for a few years now but… there’s not a day I don’t miss Japan," he smiles, reminiscing of childhood and early teenage years before his family moved to Seoul when he was seventeen. He likes Seoul though, he really does, he's made good friends and he likes his school and he also likes his job. Lee Taeyong also happens to live here in Seoul. That's the best brownie point he can think of.

"I hope you get to visit soon," Taeyong says, earnest, "Maybe one day I'll go visit too."

"You'll like it!" he says, "There's so much food and lots of museums and the people are nice, I promise!"

"If people are anything like you then I'm sure," Taeyong says, he says it so softly he's not even sure Yuta is meant to hear it. Taeyong's ears go red but he looks away, at the window, as if the snow outside is of utmost interest.

"Um," he starts again, still not looking at Yuta. Yuta has an urge to bark like a dog at how cute Taeyong looks. "I have to go grocery shopping but - it was nice to drop by," he finally looks at Yuta, who smiles back, his hands still warm from the cup of coffee's heat.

"See you next time," Yuta waves goodbye, "Text me, okay?"

He wonders how they're almost like friends now. Friends text each other, right? And bring each other cups of coffee? Because Taeyong did not even browse the store at all - he was just there to talk to Yuta and bring him something to warm his stomach. Yes, they are most definitely friends.

"Of course. Goodbye, Yuta," Taeyong smiles and it feels even warmer than any coffee Yuta has ever drunk. The snow outside keeps on falling, but Yuta doesn't feel as cold as before.

𓆙

"You gotta get me a date with Taeyong."

Ten looks at him as if he's grown a second head. "What the fuck?"

"C'mon, Ten."

"Aren't you two friends?" Ten grumbles, scrolling through his phone as they both ignore their job responsibilities for the day. Days are more than slow during winter. "He wouldn't stop looking at his phone the other day while I was talking. Lo and behold when I found out he was texting you."

"Really?" Yuta pauses, "Was he laughing at what I was saying?"

"I don't know! I just know he was ignoring me. Just ask him yourself."

"No, Ten, listen," Yuta has a perfectly concocted plan in his head. He thought about it last night when he couldn't go to sleep. "Just say you want to go to the reptile exhibition that's starting this Saturday. And that you wanna hang out with both of us. And then, you mysteriously disappear which will ultimately force me and Taeyong to be alone together. On a date."

"Why don't you just ask him if he wants to go with you?"

"Because I'm shy!"

"No, you're not."

"I am. For Taeyong."

"That's a little gross," Ten sighs, "But I promise you he'll say yes if you ask him. He loves snakes and frogs and little insects more than anything, I'm sure he'll piss his pants if you ask him."

"Ten," Yuta sighs too, "Please, I just don't want him to think I want in his pants."

"But... you do."

"Politely."

Ten rolls his eyes, "What's in it for me?"

Yuta shivers at the words. There's not a lot in the world that can convince Ten Chittaphon. Yuta knows this very well and has come prepared with the big guns. He's ready to die if it means he can have a date with Taeyong. "I'll take up a double shift on the day of your choice. Free day, Ten. Just say the word and I'll do it."

This, of course, actually makes Ten look up from his phone, interested. "I'm listening."

"Just ask Taeyong if he wants to go. Casually mention that you invited me too. All three of us will go, just a friendly bunch. Then you can just go or whatever and leave me and Taeyong alone."

"Wow," Ten deadpans, "I feel the love."

"Come on... will you do it?"

"I think it's stupid. But sure. I choose the date though, okay?"

"Of course, I'm a man of my word."

Ten sighs, going back to his phone, "I don't know why you're so worked up over Taeyong, he's literally a nerd."

Yuta looks at him, flabbergasted, "He's so cool, Ten. Have you seen him? His fashion sense? His smile? The way he cares for Osaka oh, so tenderly and asks me how my morning is going every day?"

"Please, I don't want to hear it, I'll do it just leave me alone. Also."

"What?"

"Let me best man when you have your horrible reptile wedding, please. I'm calling dibs so tell Doyoung beforehand."

Yuta jumps in glee, smooching Ten's cheek with a loud and wet smack.

𓆙

Saturday is a good day to go out. Even though Winter is approaching fast enough, that particular day the sky is mostly clear and the wind, although cool, is tolerable.

He looks down at his phone's screen, trying to check if this is the right address Ten had sent him earlier that day. It's supposed to be Taeyong's apartment address, where they'd meet up and then leave for the exhibition using Yuta's car.

He looks around the place and supposes he can wait around until Ten and Taeyong arrive.

He's a little nervous, he's not going to lie. Usually, he isn't. Yuta is loud and assertive and opinionated and that is alright. He's never been one to shy away from success. In this case, success is Taeyong. However, he still wants Taeyong to like him, he wants Taeyong to like his jokes and his dumb snake facts and all the colors he dyes his hair depending on his mood at the time. He just wants Taeyong to like him whole and spend time with him just like Yuta seems to like Taeyong.

He has become a fool with a crush. It is tragic but Yuta lets it be for the sake of romance and dramatics.

He looks down at the hour and notices that it's ten minutes past 5 p.m., the hour Ten had said they'd meet Yuta just outside of Taeyong's apartment.

"Oh, god," he mutters under his own breath. Is this all an elaborated prank that Ten and Taeyong are doing? Is he just waiting here in vain, ready to be broken-hearted? Ready to be stood up like a pathetic worm? Maybe Taeyong had been able to see past Ten's words, maybe he knows Yuta just wants to go on a date with him and he was too much of a coward to ask him in person and now he's just embarrassing himself? Maybe he should've done what Ten suggested and asked Taeyong himself. What was the worst that could happen? He'd be blocked and they'd probably lose a customer but Yuta would get over it in a month's time. Probably.

Before he gives himself an aneurysm, he hears a text message from Ten come in. Yuta almost drops his phone trying to unlock it and he's glad the streets are desolate.

_ can u come upstairs, pls? It's apt #303  _

Yuta frowns but pockets his phone, looking up at the building and wondering what's going on. Maybe one of them is sick and needs to cancel? Hopefully, it's Ten rather than Taeyong. If it's Ten, Yuta and Taeyong can still go on with the exhibition. Ten is not really needed anymore.

He walks up the stairs and Yuta realizes he's technically being invited for the first time to Taeyong's apartment - even if it's by Ten, it still counts. Hey! Maybe he'll even get to say hi to Osaka! It's been more than a month since he saw his friend for the last time.

Yuta's heart pounds as he walks up the stairs, eyeing each corridor every time he walks past a floor. When he arrives at the 400s, he walks into the hallway, looking for Taeyong's door.

It's not hard to find, in fact, Yuta does not see the apartment as much as he _hears_ it. The door is visibly ajar and Yuta hears two voices have a loud discussion that can be heard from just outside the door. He tiptoes lest he is heard, and it is obvious to him it's Taeyong and Ten who are loudly speaking with no care.

Yuta has no qualms over eavesdropping.

" _But Ten,_ " Taeyong whines. This is a much different voice from the sultry one he uses with Yuta. Butterflies churn inside his stomach. "What if he doesn't like me?"

"Taeyong, are you dumb?" Ten exclaims, "Are you seriously this dumb?"

"Have you seen him? He's the goth boyfriend of my dreams."

"I know. You haven't shut up about him since you met him. Please have mercy on me and just get your ass downstairs, I promise you this is supposed to be a date."

Goth boyfriend?

Is Yuta perhaps - goth boyfriend? He looks down at his hands, nails painted over with black. Perhaps he is goth boyfriend. He can be goth boyfriend if Taeyong so desires one.

"Then why are you coming with us?" it almost sounds like Taeyong is pouting and Yuta wishes he could look at his face right this very moment.

"Because he's stupid. But so are you, I guess. Perfect couple."

"He's not stupid," Taeyong says. Yuta wants to hug him. Thanks for defending his honor! "Just a little absent-minded." Huh.

"Yeah, I really don't understand the appeal here but I did promise I wouldn't judge you."

"Some of us just wanna get railed while a hot goth whispers snake facts in our ears, Ten."

There's a stagnant pause from Ten. Yuta almost chokes on his own spit.

Ten starts laughing - no, cackling - out loud and Yuta can imagine from where he is how Ten's probably doubling over in laughter right now.

That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said about Yuta, actually, and his ears grow red. Intensely red.

He wants to yell _hello, Lee Taeyong, I can be your goth boyfriend! And I can whisper snake facts in your ear as we do the railing!_ He doesn't yell it, of course, but he really wants to.

"So what if I like him like that?" Taeyong grumbles.

Instead, he steps into the apartment, deciding this is where the main character of a romantic comedy would step in. "I like you too."

The image of Taeyong, wide-eyed and mortified is kind of hilarious, Yuta doesn't really blame Ten as he starts laughing even harder. Maybe Yuta would it funny too if it weren't for two facts that are stealing his attention away.

The first one is that Taeyong is wearing the thickest black-rimmed eyeglasses in existence. Nerd glasses. Pardon Yuta's language, but he looks fucking adorable.

The second fact that Yuta noticed as soon as he stepped into the apartment is that. It. Is. Filled. With. Terrariums. Everywhere.

Green plants and aquariums, and terrariums, big and small. The living room, although way bigger than Yuta's own, is filled to the brim with... animals. There are little frogs and fish in tanks, an ant farm, filled with red ants. A badass tarantula. And snakes. Yuta can see at least four big terrariums with snakes. There's a carpet python, a green boa, a yellow anaconda, a blood python. These are not beginner snakes.

Yuta gets lost, ogling at the blood python - so, so pretty - he barely hears Ten still laughing in the background, barely realizes Taeyong is looking at him, probably surprised to see Yuta barging into his apartment. No: his human-sized terrarium.

"This is insane," he says, wide-eyed, walking closer to the green boa. These snakes make Osaka look like a baby in comparison. He turns to the apple of his eye, "Taeyong?"

"I'm leaving," Ten wipes a tear from the corner of his eye. The devil did what he had to do and now he's leaving the mess behind for everyone else to pick up.

"I like snakes?" Taeyong shrugs as he walks closer to Yuta, eyeing the bright green boa in front of them. "That's Emi."

"I thought you were..." _A rookie? A beginner snake keeper?! Someone who Yuta could impress with dumb snake facts?!_

"I work at the city zoo," Taeyong pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "In the reptile section." No fucking way. "I suppose you can say I know my way around snakes."

"Why did you... why did you buy a corn snake?"

Taeyong looks at him as if Yuta is asking the most obvious question, "Osaka is the cutest!"

"Are you saying I've been trying to impress an official snake caretaker with Wikipedia facts?" Well, now he's actually embarrassed.

"And it's been working," Taeyong looks up, hands fidgety. "You're really cool, Yuta. I—I mean it. I do like you." They ignore other things that were said that afternoon. Mostly for Taeyong's sake.

"You do?"

"I can assure you Osaka does not need your selfies nor your voice messages. I just like texting you. And even though it means I get to work a little late, I also like going to the pet shop during your shift."

"I like it too," Yuta says dumbly. "And your glasses. You should wear them more often. Maybe even send a selfie or two."

Taeyong flushes for a moment before breaking out into a grin and Yuta thinks, surrounded by all his snakes and animals, Taeyong has never looked prettier. "I will."

"Since our ride pretty much ditched us..." Yuta looks around the place before settling his eyes on Taeyong. "How about you show me around the place? I'm dying to check out all these snakes. Maybe even say hi to Osaka, haven't seen him in a while."

"Is this a date, then?"

"Yes," Yuta smiles, fixing Taeyong's glasses as they slide down from his nose yet again, "So... about that Blood Python, I think you've been dying to tell me all about it."

𓆙

**Author's Note:**

> see you guys during reveals :)
> 
>  _edit after reveals_ : thank you guys for reading my silly fic, hope you enjoyed it, feel free to leave kudos and comments and you can always follow me on [twitter](https://mobile.twitter.com/ten_taeil) or send me a question/comment through [curious cat](https://curiouscat.me/nakamoon) :)


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